Thursday, September 4, 2008 sometimes i wonder, really. who cares actually abt all these, but sth i dont know y i even bother -.- i'm such an ass, haha but wadeva. looking forward to tmr seriously. did i mention that holidays rock? ;D hahahaha. this's the only week that i can see yilin and dawn more often (: <3s haha. seems like the only bad point of not going to sch is like not seeing and hearing the retartedness of cheyl and amanda, but oh wells, my ears are gonna ring on monday. haiz, lit quiz go away ): i'm hating it seriously. nothing gets into my brain de, 12/25. why am i even bothering to study for it. my time should be spent for more impt things like trainings. ^^ i hv a sudden urge of telling my mum that this moment i really want to go to other school. rg is beginning to suck like anything now. nothing is going right for me. except my dear juniors that are forever so funny ;D but every other thing is like --- seriously, i'm not enjoying anything out of my school. nothing turns out right anyway, and i suppose everyone would be happy after i transfer, so why not make everyone including myself happy. after i transfer SOMEONE can STICK to someone like glue without my "interference". it use to bother me alot but now i dont really care. compare the way you treat me and the way i treat you. see the difference? i don really wanna rake up the past, but you're the one that made me to. but i shall stop here. and i'm still deciding wad i shld do tmr, or rather now. its just that i feel like an idoit forever calling you tens and thousands of times and its to ask you if YOU need sth that i know you dont have. is this fair treatment towards me?like previously, it used to bother me quite a lot until recently when i could "getback" at you. ok, not in that sense, but more of let you have a own taste of your own medicine. and it dosent seem to be workin, so might as well cont then. not like i'm despo for your companion. anw a transfer means that much to me yeah. it not only make my life happier, it allows me to train in a healthy sport. seriousy, i'm speaking the truth. like i'm not saying table tennis is bad, but truth is when you go to a table tennis match chances are that there is more parents than students. reason? cos the parents are too kanchiong and kaisu. and it is getting very competitive, as in the bad way. like everyone is hoping everyone else is like not coming for training so that the person can train more and stuff, esp the ones in yds. i'm serious. like competitiveness is good actually cos it like "pushes" you to do better and stuff, but too much of it becomes negative and people will start to backstab others,and i have real life experiences as well, but i will not type it out here duh. i'm beginning to think i'm typing out too much here but once i get started i cant stop, so i shall cont. i'm taking damn long to type this, cos everytime i think of something i have to find a way to rephrase it so that it dosent sound so offending, but oh wells. back to table tennis. like really dont believe me just go down to any match, the parents will be cheering the loudest, esp at primary school matches. after that compare it with any volleyball match. even the semis. maybe there are a few like 5 or 6 parents around, but they just stand there to watch their child or children play, instead of making irritating noises. reason? its not that they dont care abt their child, but that they have the sense to watch quietly and not shout and scream like a crazy lunatic. and of cos its healthier in that sense that even people from other schools are like friends and they do talk with others as well, sincerely, unlike in tabletennis where sch a hates sch b and they dont talk to each other. i shall not say anymore cos it is getting no where. all i have to say is i personally hate table tennis and that's that. at least in vball there's like teamwork and team spirit. and people DO NOT blame others when they make an error. unlike table tennis, some people will blame you in their hearts but they will tell you that its ok and you've played well and all the crap stuff, but deep down, they are thinking that its cos of you that they dont get to play at all. yeah, that's table tennis for you. but luckily there still some people that are not like that, but they are gonna be extinct soon cos its really over competitive. but oh wells. i've made stupid choice and nothing much can be done unless like my parents finally agree to let me transfer lar. i've been trying to persuade them every single second or time that i have a chance too, but to no avail. or rather i think its just that they dont understand my life now. academically it just makes me feel that my confidence lvl is constantly dropping. seriously, people in my class are getting good grades without having to study at all. they are like either sleeping or playing computer or wathcing tv. but end up they still get very good grades. its either this or that the people need not study AT ALL. and they can hv other lessons ALL DAY LONG, and only starting to study the day before the exam, and guess wad? bingo, they score really well too. i guess i've gone into the wrong school, cos my sch now is for the really smart people, like the top 3% in the whole of singapore, but in actual fact i'm only the bottom 3% and i think i can fit in with all the smart asses? no that's where i tink i'm getting more and more stupid. its not like i'm not trying to study, but i'm already trying my best, so wad more do you want me to do? become a hard-core mugger and study all day long -.- sry i cant do that. -now i gota go and slp. when i'm nt even sleepy. wadeva. i figure no one actually reads this post, so why bother posting -.- |
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