we lost they won. dont know if this on the whole is good or bad news though, but its definetly not for me. first singles was sherilyn LOH. she played ok ok. lost to the china i lost last time in quarters. den was doubles. lingyue and weilin lost 3-0 to their doubles. actually our line up is to win their weak singels and both doubles. so after losing the doubles we got lyk no hope le. den i played second singles, like yingrong. anyway, lost 3-0. first match was 11-8. i play like all the way till 7-7. den she won 3 in a row den 10-7, den in the end i win 1, 10-8, den lose. so 11-8. den nxt match was a horror. 11-1. dunno wad the hell i'm doing ok. accordin to coach its jus that the china fa1 hui1 very well tt match, so not suprising that i lost till lyk tt. den after tt 11-4 lost. was friggin pissed off wif myself. dunno y. fa1 qiu2 shi1 wu4 twice leh. so stupid la. didnt kn0w wad i was doin lars, think i played lousy, althogh many ppl came and say that i played well and stuff, but i totally don think so lor. even coach said i played well, no nid to b sad. i felt super guilty la, make me cry even harder. i also dunno y la. although its super obvious that the china i played wif is super strong and i won win, but i still think i can play way better. to say the truth, i had a little hope that i may win her. cos aldrea won her 3-1 in zonals. but end up i was wrong, cos i guess i had too much hope in myself. i feel really really guilty, cos this is the first time after playin so many competitions that is very impt also, this is the first time that the match is lost at my hands. like 2-0 we losin den i lost. although its not my fault on the whole, cos coach's intention was that doubles must win den two singles playin wif china lose, but i still hate this kind of feelin ok. although many didnt say it out, i know there are ppl that "blame" me. actually i can really sense it, cant really describe it, but you will know who you are. its just one person actually out of three, and i'm not tryin to point fingers to anyone; its mayb cos i'm too sensitive or sth, jus that i can feel that part of u is blamin me that i didnt win so u cant play or perform at all. i'm sorry then, if wad u wan is to show the others wad you're capable of, no nid to depend on me if i win or lose, i'm sure you hv other ways to show. ok, i'm sorry if i'm being sacarstic, its jus tat i cant stand this anymore. it has been going on for ages. i didnt wan to say anything at first, jus wan to forget everything after the competitions, but i really cant stand it anymore. from st nicks match all the way till cedar's match. first it was doubles. i know u don like to doubles wif me, but do you hv to say it out in front of me. i know wad u hv been saying to others bout me, cos all my other friends are TRUE friends that don backstab each other. i really don wanna type this out, but i really cant stand it anymore... u tell me the difference, both cuo1 qiu2 bu4 zuan4, so wad's the diff. u told coach u cant doubles wif me cos i'm anti, den the opponent keeps smacking. wad's the diff. she's also almost same as me wad u tell me. its not only this single thing. i really don wanna think about all these stuff, jus that wadeva u hv done i know. jus that i don wanna say it out. there r jus too many things that u do, from table tennis to my friends, seriously, wad hv i done wrong to make u do all these to me. do you know how it feels to b like if u're in my shoes? i can try and do this to you if u wan, but wo3 zuo4 bu4 xia4. i really wanna b bad and mean sometimes, but i cant. everytime wen i decides to do so, something will jus pull me back from doing all these mean stuff. i'm really confused now. i finally see the world's cruelty. hate it. anyway that was how we lost to cedar. anyway thanks mrs hoo mrs tan and ms goh. they came down to watch us play our horrible match today. and of all the match i had to play lyk tt today. anyway after my match, i wen to sit down den started cryin, cos i really feel guilty, den mrs hoo was like its alrite, i played well and stuff. anyway after tt wen out den had a lyk de brief thing. mr ang was sayin he wanted to bring the singapore flag here. so bad la. and den i wen in to watch maris play sports school wif mummy. maris won 3-2. expected. first singles left hand china man play wif ze yu i think. lost. den first doubles if i'm not wrong is burden and yantian. won dunno how much cos i 'm not watchin. den second singles was yingrong. think he lost ALSO. dunno how much la. cos mummy also hear from other ppl de. so not sure. den second doubles ben and daryl won 3-1. den last one china man won 3-0. so maris won 3-2 while rg lost 3-0. sucky. ok, i gtg and eat dinner out wif jie jie they all post more wen i get bak. guess wad. they're from cedar. gonna scold them later wen i see them. hmph.