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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
you know when your parents tell you that they love you and does everything for your own good, actually, they're all just lying. why even bother to lie to me than when truth is you cant even be bothered about your own daughter? all you all only care about is your younger precious daughter who is inferior to you just cause she's in stta. so what if she's in stta. what's so great about it huh? i don't care anymore. you claim you love the two of us just as much, but now i realised where i stand in both of your hearts. nothing. when you took leave, the first thing you ask the both of us is if your precious stta daughter what time her school ends and what time is her training. i didn't even exists in your eyes cause although i was standing right in front of you you did not even bother to ask me anything. when i asked you if you could fetch me, the first thing you tell me? i'm not sure if i will get my car back on time, may be 3 or 4pm already. and this immediately signaled me in a way to keep my mouth close cause you don't even intend or plan to fetch me. and i am already putting this aside. today when you went to ntuc, you even called your stta daughter to ask her what bread she wanted. and when she said something that i don't really like and i told you nicely, what did you tell me? Just give in to your sister. it's ok. yea right. when i'm suppose to give in to her this is alright. when she's suppose to give in to me they will just tell me to give in to her instead. tell me, what kind of rubbish is this? what about yesterday when we were at toa payoh stadium just outside stta to wait for your daughter? what did you tell me when i tell you i have a lot of homework to do and i am busy. you said, it's ok, yi xuan's time is important and do not let her wait. this are the exact words you told me and i will never forget it. so what am i compared to her? just someone that waste a little inch of your house, someone that takes up a corner of your family or someone that wastes the earth's oxygen and resources. here i am telling you that i need to go home and do my homework and there you are telling me that my homework or my time is not important compared to your stta daughter? yes i get it, and i will remember what you have told me for life. when your precious daughter want to use the computer, you remember what you told me? let yi xuan use the bigger one, the desktop, so that she will not strain her eyes. now what do you mean by that? my eyes are not important and hers are? as usual i am not surprised cause this is not the first time. and it comes to times when your daughter goes overseas for competitions and you are just so proud of it and go around telling almost everyone you see that you know. have you ever considered my feelings? so am i inferior just cause she's in stta? or is it that she plays better table tennis than me? or is it that she likes table tennis instead of the sport you were once a national team member of? why? if you don't want to spare thought to my feelings, at least tell me why you like to do this to me? do you still remember what i asked you since last year? the exact question was if you could help me to check the inter-schoo 
Emo Hairl secondary volleyball schedule. and do you remember what you told me? 5 words, wait till i am free. what about comparing with your daughter when she asks you when Volkswagen woman singles final was? you immediately took our your phone and called coach to ask him when it was, and even bought tickets just for your daughter to go in. have you ever spared a thought for my feelings. i have done countless things for you and your daughter, but do you take them into consideration? i doubt you even notice. except when you want me to give way to your daughter to use to computer or when you want me to move and let her have the computer. i bet these are the times when you even notice me. the rest of the time you are just too busy teaching or rather screaming at your daughter to concentrate on maths. and do you even realise every time when your daughter gets her sums wrong, and i am watching tv? what is the first thing you say to me? or rather shout to me? off the tv. yes, this is another example of when you notice my existence. yes yes. everything your daughter does, play table tennis and academics are all your priorities. everything she does in short. the only other thing is when i am using the phone and you yell at me to put down just cause your daughter's studying and needs concentration? is this fair i ask you? what about when i am using my hand phone. whenever you like it you just snatch it out of my hand and read my sms. and everytime you find me messaging guys you will scold and shout at me for doing something wrong? which is like not cause who said that people of the opposite gender cannot talk to each other? is there such a law that i have to follow? what about when your daughter messages guys? what do you say? you tell her nicely that she needs to concentrate on work first and she can message later. and how do you explain this? she can and i cannot. i'm so sure you're right. and the thing is you do not even read her messages and i am older. what about times when my tuition teacher or my primary school teacher praises me and complains about your daughter, what do you say? you simply ignore the fact that i am better than your precious little daughter and instead talk to her on and on about what she can do better in school? and you practically ignored the fact that i am right beside you. what about that time when i was out till 6, did you even bother to call and ask where i was? no. what about that time when your daughter was suppose to end training at 5 and she haven't called you at 510. what did you do? call her hand phone at least 6 times and called her coach. everything just shows one thing, and that is very obvious. i am sick and tired of all this. from now on, i'm just going to treat it as if i have no such family since who needs one when they all treat me like that? i wasn't like that i am really really sure before your precious daughter got into stta. that's for sure. other than my parents who treat me this way? guess what? even my aunty claims that i am jealous of your daughter cause she is going to korea. why should i be?i just don't get this whole world. what's so good about being able to go for training trips? just because she has the chance and i do not. or is it that i hate table tennis that's why you are always against me? what's wrong with it? and just for your information, almost everyone ask me why is it that when my mum who used to be a national team volleyball player sends both her children to play table tennis. i guess that just does not makes sense to the rest of the people. and what's wrong with me liking volleyball? i suppose it is a crime in your eyes and only those that loves table tennis will be the apple in your eye. yes, i have made up my mind and this time no one is going to change it.
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